


Mutual Want

by articcat621



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Romance, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 10:26:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23969827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/articcat621/pseuds/articcat621
Summary: Neither of them knows just how much they mean to each other.
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Kudos: 29
Collections: Tropes & Fandoms 2020





	Mutual Want

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Written for Melting Pot's Tropes and Fandoms - mutual pining. Thanks SquarePeg72 for looking over this. Happy reading! xx
> 
> Disclaimer: Sherlock belongs to PBS & BBC America. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is being made from this creation.

John doesn't know that Sherlock wants him. He never noticed the way that Sherlock watched him, his every move, every expression, every tiny smile, committing it all to memory so that he can replay it to himself when they're apart. John probably played it off as Sherlock just being Sherlock. It wasn’t as if Sherlock was anything but observant. 

John didn't know just how central he was to every single thought that Sherlock had. From morning to late in the evening, it is John that he thought about. His flatmate occupied his every waking thought. They spent their mornings together until they were called for work. And even then, while working cases, Sherlock’s thoughts will drift to John. The two of them were always together. They were a team, a dynamic duo that worked in perfect tandem. Luckily for Sherlock, his thoughts were never too distracting. 

It consumed Sherlock at times, and if he was a weaker man, he’d act on his feelings. However, he didn’t want to ruin the tentative friendship that they had. John was the first man he had let into his life, and he didn’t want to ruin things between them.

So Sherlock kept his mouth shut frequently, and kept his wants and desires to himself. He hoped that John would never notice just how fiercely Sherlock loved him.

It could destroy everything between them, and that was something that Sherlock couldn’t live with. He had rather have John as a friend, then as nothing at all.

* * *

When John was alone in his bed at night, the door shut and the lights off, his thoughts would always turn to Sherlock. Sherlock was an enigma, something that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t figure him out.

He loved this time of night – when he could be completely alone with his thoughts. Stripping out of his clothes, he opened the small vial of lube hidden in his bedside drawer. Night after night, it was the same routine: he’d finger himself, or stroke his cock, pretending that it was Sherlock pleasuring him instead of himself. He bit his lip to try and keep silent, knowing that if he cried out, Sherlock would likely rush in thinking something was wrong. He certainly didn’t want Sherlock catching him like this - that would make things awkward. Or maybe, it wouldn't. Maybe seeing John pleasure himself would make Sherlock realise he wanted more with him? He’d stretch himself open, fingers thrusting in and out relentlessly as he imagined Sherlock's hands on his hips, on his back, holding him down. He imagined Sherlock touching every inch of his skin... Sherlock's lips grazing his neck, nipping and kissing as they made love. He imagined Sherlock's cock inside him, stretching him, filling him, fucking him. 

It’s frustrating to John. He loves Sherlock, he truly does, and it's impossible not to, with his soft smiles and kind eyes. He listens to what John has to say, he pays attention and he cares – in his own Sherlock way. But sometimes, John wonders why he fell in love with someone who could never love him back.

He knew that Sherlock only cared for him as a friend, nothing more. He knew that Sherlock was married to his work and that he was above such human emotions or dalliances. There was a reason that John was always here, fantasising about Sherlock instead of sharing a bed with him.

“It’ll never happen”, John repeated it to himself, just as he always did each night, and he tried not to whimper Sherlock's name as he came.

With a groan, John closed his eyes, withdrawing his fingers from himself. His heart ached, and he wanted nothing more than to press his lips against Sherlock’s and snog him senseless. He wanted to stroke Sherlock's cock and bring him to completion, all while kissing and licking at his sweet skin. He wanted to snuggle against Sherlock and hold him tightly during the night, so they could keep each others' nightmares at bay. 

Something, of course, that wouldn’t ever happen.


End file.
